Intention Bias vs Judging Behaviour

Intention Bias vs Judging Behaviour

by | Blog

There is a hypocrisy most of us struggle with.

Intentions and behaviour are legitimate ways to evaluate human conduct.

The problem is that we are conveniently biased towards intentions when considering ourselves, and towards behaviour when evaluating other people.

We trust our own intentions – because we know ourselves pretty well. Not perfectly (but that’s a whole other topic).

Because we can’t see or feel the inner working of another’s mind, then we judge someone by what we can see – their behaviour.

Both intentions and behaviours are important and so the challenge is we need to apply them more uniformly.

Rarely would someone intend to reverse into someone else’s car. But focusing on our intent can limit us from taking responsibility for our behaviour. Despite my intentions, I did reverse into their car. So I’ll take responsibility, apologise and pay for the damages rather than drive away.

While intentions are important, they don’t atone for all behaviour.

“I didn’t mean for that comment to be sexist.”

Does our intention matter? Yes, but again rarely would someone intend to be sexist.

Even if we get feedback from the world – “That was a bit sexist” or “that was very sexist” or “We only have 27% women in leadership roles”, we have a tendency to place undue emphasis on our own intentions.

This limits us from taking responsibility for the ‘impact’ of our behaviour, or how these behaviours are contributing to the problem.

BlokeCoaching is a program for male executives within organisations to understand more about the behaviours that perpetuate gender inequality, take responsibility, and work to fix the system.

For most of us, we do not intend to be sexist. Yet it’s difficult for us to ignore that there is a problem that hasn’t gone away. The feedback is that there is still a lot of work to be done.

We all need to start taking responsibility.

And not drive off.

Are you watering down your DEI Initatives?

Are you watering down your DEI Initatives?

by | Blog

𝗔𝗿𝗲 𝘆𝗼𝘂 𝘄𝗮𝘁𝗲𝗿𝗶𝗻𝗴 𝗱𝗼𝘄𝗻 𝘆𝗼𝘂𝗿 𝗗𝗘𝗜 𝗶𝗻𝗶𝘁𝗶𝗮𝘁𝗶𝘃𝗲𝘀?

There is a difference between compliance training and real development.

I don’t work in compliance training, but unfortunately, many organisations mistake DEI as another compliance topic.

At the heart, many organisations want to be seen to be tackling the issue and are looking for options that can tick boxes.

Unconscious Bias Training has become a go-to option for organisations wanting more than just EEO and anti-discrimination modules, but in reality, it is not doing what you think it is doing.

Whilst Unconscious Bias is now a fairly well-known term, very few people take any meaningful steps.

Most people think ‘greater awareness’ is a suitable outcome or takeaway, without actually challenging what this awareness is or how it will inform their actions going forward.

The training ticks a box. And then people wonder why it hasn’t produced any meaningful change.

We may have crossed our arms, and committed to #breakthebias2022, for International Women’s Day 2022, but how has that been going for you?

We get kudos for showing up. We applaud commitments to champion change.

That’s the end of the story.

Next time, pay attention to the subtle use of words used by a program sponsor or a senior leader that has been through unconscious bias training.

“WE need to address this” or “WE need to do more about this.” or something similar…

Whilst sharing accountability through ‘WE’ (and getting everyone’s heads nodding) it actually also serves to negate personal responsibility.

Which means nothing changes.

Better leadership looks like:

“I am going to fix the problem by….”

“I am going to change the way… “

“I know that I’ve been getting it wrong”.

Unfortunately, we often fall into the trap of thinking it is other people’s biases that we need to break.

This mindset leaves us to overlook our own prejudices.

This mindset evades the uncomfortable truth that we are contributing to the problem.

Some more than others.

Our discomfort is worth others feeling more comfortable.

Discomfort is where learning happens.

Discomfort motivates real change.

You don’t need more unconscious bias training.

We don’t need more slides or e-learning.

We need a better intervention.

#blokecoaching is an uncomfortable program.

And we make no apologies for that.

Clients get upset.

They cry. They argue.

Through the program, we help everyone to understand their privilege, the patriarchal system and their individual prejudices, and those topics are going to stir up some big feelings.

But that is part of the process. And our clients are better for it.

Working Parents and societal change

Working Parents and societal change

by | Blog

This week has been a week of transitions in my household, as it probably has been for many working parents.

Our eldest son started back at school, and our younger son is back at daycare.

PLUS, coincidently, my wife has returned to her practice this week, after taking parental leave.

For me, it’s involved juggling around my schedule and availability to assume the primary carer’s role for our youngest – 9-month-old, Lizzie.

Looking after a baby by yourself is tough, and the third time around doesn’t make it much easier.

Even tougher is trying to run a business between naps, pickups, and playtime. I didn’t have this added pressure with the other two, as I took leave from my employers instead (self-funded through annual leave and leave without pay).

📣 So here’s a shout-out to all the people that are doing this currently – and somehow making it work.

📣 And a special shout out to the dads doing this.

Third time around for me, it is definitely encouraging to see the progress that had been made – just in the last 5 years – to normalise dads being the primary carer, and to normalise dads juggling work and caring responsibilities throughout the week.

This time around, I haven’t encountered the “change table is located in the women’s bathroom” issue (although, I think this is still the case in some public toilets).

This time around, the unhelpful comments are much less frequent. No one has commented about me “playing mum” or “minding the baby” or how great it is that I’m giving my wife a break. But there are still some comments – the most recent was from a lady that praised my “Mother’s rock” when observing me settling my daughter.

This time around there are also a couple more dads at the park (still not that many though). But the biggest change is that the mothers seem less cliquey, more willing to talk to me, and more willing to include me as an equal in their parenting conversations.

It is progress in the right direction – which makes this transition much easier this time around, despite the added pressure.

The last couple of times I’ve done this, I said a massive thanks to my employer and my team for supporting me through this time. This time I am my employer, and I don’t have much of a team.

So instead I want to thank Australian society for the progress that has been made. Progress which is supporting me through this time. 🙏