Do you see gender inequality?

Do you see gender inequality?

by | Blog

A lot of men don’t seem to ‘get’ gender inequality

…yet.

We struggle to see what so many non-men can see so regularly and so plainly.

Firstly, because there is male privilege, we probably don’t see the inequality as easily as those without the privilege.

But here’s the thing – even when it’s pointed out to us, a lot of men refuse to engage or do anything about it.

There are psychological forces at play.

Abraham Maslow in ‘Toward a Psychology of Being’ describes this perfectly:

“Every human being has both sets of forces within (them). 

One set clings to safety and defensiveness out of fear, tending to regress backward, hanging on to the past, afraid to grow… afraid to take chances, and afraid to jeopardise what (they) already (have)…

The other set of forces impels (them) forward toward wholeness of Self and uniqueness of Self, toward full functioning of all (their) capacities, toward confidence in the face of the external world at the same time that (they) can accept (their) deepest, real, unconscious Self.”

Acknowledging the inequality that exists between the genders, and accepting that all men continue to benefit from male privilege, inevitably forces men to confront their fears –

Perhaps I don’t deserve to be where I am.

Perhaps I’m not as good at this as I think I am.

Maybe I will lose what I have.

These are very difficult barriers to overcome, and so a lot of men will protect themselves against this perceived ‘threat’ with a fight, flight or freeze response.

And that ‘threat’ response can be triggered by even the most benign stimulus – like an Australian of the Year who doesn’t smile for a photo.

 

Blokecoaching is a program we have designed for senior male executives to understand male privilege, patriarchy and prejudices, and continue progress towards achieving gender equality within organisations.

Working as a cohort as well as 1on1 with a certified organisational coach, helps men to address the realities of the patriarchal system, tackle the unconscious forces within us that compel us to protect our male privilege, and provide encouragement to come to terms with who we really are and find courage to move forward.

It’s a confronting program. Losing privilege is hard.

It’s an emotional journey. And we will support men through all phases of that emotional journey from denial, anger, bargaining, depression and finally acceptance.

If your organisation’s gender inclusion strategy seems to be plateauing or if your organisation is struggling to make progress towards gender equality, perhaps it’s time to invest in developing the men.

Working Parents and societal change

Working Parents and societal change

by | Blog

This week has been a week of transitions in my household, as it probably has been for many working parents.

Our eldest son started back at school, and our younger son is back at daycare.

PLUS, coincidently, my wife has returned to her practice this week, after taking parental leave.

For me, it’s involved juggling around my schedule and availability to assume the primary carer’s role for our youngest – 9-month-old, Lizzie.

Looking after a baby by yourself is tough, and the third time around doesn’t make it much easier.

Even tougher is trying to run a business between naps, pickups, and playtime. I didn’t have this added pressure with the other two, as I took leave from my employers instead (self-funded through annual leave and leave without pay).

📣 So here’s a shout-out to all the people that are doing this currently – and somehow making it work.

📣 And a special shout out to the dads doing this.

Third time around for me, it is definitely encouraging to see the progress that had been made – just in the last 5 years – to normalise dads being the primary carer, and to normalise dads juggling work and caring responsibilities throughout the week.

This time around, I haven’t encountered the “change table is located in the women’s bathroom” issue (although, I think this is still the case in some public toilets).

This time around, the unhelpful comments are much less frequent. No one has commented about me “playing mum” or “minding the baby” or how great it is that I’m giving my wife a break. But there are still some comments – the most recent was from a lady that praised my “Mother’s rock” when observing me settling my daughter.

This time around there are also a couple more dads at the park (still not that many though). But the biggest change is that the mothers seem less cliquey, more willing to talk to me, and more willing to include me as an equal in their parenting conversations.

It is progress in the right direction – which makes this transition much easier this time around, despite the added pressure.

The last couple of times I’ve done this, I said a massive thanks to my employer and my team for supporting me through this time. This time I am my employer, and I don’t have much of a team.

So instead I want to thank Australian society for the progress that has been made. Progress which is supporting me through this time. 🙏